Reflections on a 16 year old self

What did I know, didn't I know, didn't I feel?
Little woman, with her hair all cut off
Naive and waiting for love and for pain,
You sold your curls for the sake of a father,
Sold your innocence for the arms of a boy.

Sitting in your life, with a pen writing sorrows,
Writing sins, hoping for life to create the
fairy horrors that you wove, craving bittersweetness
to make a woman of your milk and honeyed flesh
And what did you become?

Why did no one tell you the danger you treasured,
lay in a chest, too brittle to be loved
Crack it and lose the doll inside the dollfaced child
you had been. Then your mind was a weapon,
Now it is the note you leave behind

Growing taller, clasping the chinks in the wall
But the world grew too. Eye to eye with trouble,
the conflicts you revelled with carry you,
You, in your red red shoes, dancing,
to the heartbeat that's three years long

So, as the lock hits the floor, tears.
Pillar the eyes to the heart, to the feet
And salt on the skin, stops the drum.
Silence is all you possess. Tacet.
The dancer must stand alone.

Kite

How mesmerous the clouds
in Van Gogh swirls adorn the sky
I sit in splendour, string at heels
And with one lush breath, fly

The Departure

In the morning you'll find that there's salt on my pillow
and a crumpled up shape where my head used to lay
I'm trying so hard to to forget what I am
and to try and pretend that I'm dreaming each day.


But the grey of the night bleeds in to each daybreak
the numb of the dark cannot deaden each blow
I'm not leaving my bed, think I'm dying a little
Lying silent to wait for the journey to home


So tonight as I smile and I wish you sweet dreaming
I will close every door and I'll smother each light
And how sweetly I'll shiver, dissolve in to starshine
You'll not find me tomorrow, I'm leaving tonight

Weary

Finally managed my Y12 assignment of a melancholy limerick!

If I lie very still for a week
Forget how to move, how to speak
Can I learn not to be
this regret which is me
and become the someone that I seek?

Mojito

And I'd give rum, mint and lime
For an hour of your time

Who knows if you'll think of me again

But I'll wonder how
you are
and,
how,
just,
for one,
short,
second,
you,
made me feel real

Capo

And it's over and over and over again,

The games of fill the empty space outline

Gaps which so need colouring.

And age eats in to the growling hunger of time

Da capo

And it's over and over again

I can hear the minor cadence say

It is finished but not resolved: repeat

Da capo

And it's over

And the silence scares me more than the noise

Fine